Hellsing on the beach crack
by Geishazombie
Summary: This was an MSN conversation I had with one of my best friends - I was Alucard and she Integra - it started out as a bit of fun but soon became very descriptive and rather fun to read, so I thought I'd share it Integra and Alucard meet on the beach....


*sunset in background, on sea front; runs slowly towards as Alucard hat gets blown off

*The smell of the sea is in the air and Integra's glasses flash orangey red in the setting sun as she runs towards Alucard with her hair streaming behind her.*

*as the distance between them closes, Alucard trips on a rock, curses (voice is uuber deep due to slow mo) but carries on, a slight limp in right leg every so often*

*Integra winces at the sight of the clumsy Alucard but she never stops her slow motion running. Soon they will reach and embrace! Only a little bit to go! A bird tweets in the background (It makes a really spazz noise) and the whole world seems to want them to join!*

*obstacles continue to get in his way - Anderson emerges from the sea, and Alucard does battle whilst still running. The Nazi blimp with the Millennium crew follow from the sea. Alucard shoots them down. A moment later, Integra and Alucard embrace with the burning Nazi ship in background, random explosions and a smoke cloud*

*Integra ignores the problems that seem to darken their moment of bliss. The sun sets and a blood red sky splashes from the sea and the flames illuminate the darkening sky. Soon she holds her Alucard to her with her arms wrapped around his larger form. Shrapnel flies towards them and the explosions increase as they hold eachother.*

(chibi fan girl squealing) *whilst they look into each other's eyes, Anderson gets up once again, bloodied up and yelling something, but Alucard can't hear as he points his gun and uses up the rest of the rounds, whilst never looking away from his master*

(Squee~ ) *The platinum blonde woman looks deeply into the eyes of her monster. Nothing can tear them apart anymore, not that buffoon Anderson or any millennium bugs. All she can see is her 'Servant'. Her large blue eyes absorb his red hughes and she lets a soft smile grace her lips.*

*The vampire king brushes a stray hair out of his master's eyes as he leans down slowly, his lips mere millimeters from her ear. He can feel her blush as smiles and whispers huskily; '…The game...'*

*A soft pink blossoms over her cheeks as the Vampire moves the hair from her face and she can't help but let her smile widen. Her arms tighten around his body as he leans towards her ear and her cheeks deepen their blush. As soon as he mutters the words "the game" her body goes completely tense like a board and her lips form into a grim line before she pulls herself out of the hug.* Do not toy with me!

*he grins at her mischievously as he scoops her up into his arms, bridal style. She still looks annoyed, as she hasn't lost the game since Walters's betrayal, but her expression softens as she leans against her servants chest*

(Squealing like a mad thing.) *Her annoyance is obvious on her face and also on her body. As he picks up the slender woman her body is still tense and her jaw set. A small noise of frustration leaves her lips before she closes her crystal blue eyes and begins to relax; she was too tired to fight against him. She leans her full head of blonde hair lightly against his chest and shoulder as once again she sighs.*

*Noticing that some of the Nazi ghoulies have survived the explosion, Alucard begins to walk back along the golden stretch, holding his master protectivly*

*Integra opens her blue eyes once again as the Vampire walks with her in his arms. She glances towards the ghoules as they groan and move towards them in the sand, some missing limbs as they stumble towards them from the burning carnage. She glances away once again, knowing that as he holds her she will always be safe.*

*not wanting to ruin the mood, no that the game did that or anything ......., Alucard picks up the pace, trying to ignore the half dead, living..dead*

*The groaning increases as another boom of fire lights the evening sky. A "tsk.." can be heard leaving Integra's lips as Alucard begins to walk faster, she bumps around in his arms lightly as the Nosferatu walks upon the dark sand.*

(listening to 'Broken English' - Schaft) * realizing that the ghouls are beginning to become an annoyance; Alucard stops, and puts Integra back onto the sand. Reloading his gun, he assures his master he'll only be a minute, and runs off to deal with the problem. While he's gone, Integra rolls her eyes at all the unnecessary gun acrobatics, and turns her back to it all, lighting a cigar*

(Listening to the Harry Potter sound track) *The woman lands lightly on her feet and sinks slightly into the fine sand. She knew that getting the sand out of her shoes was going to be a complete hassle later on. Her eyes are kept on Alucard as he loads his gun and a small frown forms over her features before nodding lightly. She lets her eyes stray on the over confident and cocky Vampire as he destroys the ghouls. She shakes head and her locks of hair shimmer around her before turning away from both the Vampire and the sea wind to light he cigar. She pulls out a match and cigar from her inner jacket pocket and tries to light it but the sea wind blows out the small flame each time. She frowns in annoyance as all she an hear is destruction from Alucard and a still burning Nazi vessle.*

:

*as he returns, he notices His master's trouble with getting her cigar to light. A slightly morbid but well intended idea comes to mind as he takes the cigar from her slender hand, and holds a finger up to her as she goes to ask what the hell he's doing. Walking back towards the carnage, he finds a body that is still slightly alight, and lights the cigar.*

*As the cigar is taken from her hand she stares up at the Vampire with a look of annoyance and questioning in her eyes. Why was he taking her cigar? Her mouth opens to ask what in God's name he was doing but at his action she falls silent once again and begins to brood over what he was planning. As he walks towards the burning body she soon finds out what he was planning as the cigar is lit and a small smirk forms over his lips.*

*not sure whether she'll take the cigar back, Alucard jogs back to where Integra is stood, hands on hips*

*She glares at the lightly smoking cigar before turning her harsh gaze toward her servant. She locks eyes with him as she stands with her feet slightly apart and her gloved hands on her hips.* I am not going to smoke that now.

*he looks at her knowingly -he's full aware of the fact that she hasn't had a cigar for quite some time, and that the need for one must be nigh impossible to ignore. To test his theory, he shrugs, and gives the motion that he's about to throw it away. As he suspected, she goes to grab it*

*She continues to glare at him even as the sea wind blows the beautiful and familiar smell of cigar smoke into her nostrils. Her teeth grind together as she tries to keep her resolve; he lit it on a corpse. She couldn't smoke it. Though she hadn't had a cigar for much longer than she would previously have gone. As the Vampire moves to flick the lit cigar away from her, her body moves on impulse and she lunges to grab it out of his hands and quickly placing it against her lips and inhaling the beloved smoke.*

* He laughs triumphantly, he expression disgusted but oh soes relieved. After a minute of letting her enjoy it, he goes to pick her up once again, but is swatted away by a white gloved hand - he obviously miscalculated HOW much she loved Cigars*

*Her blue eyes close and her glasses glint in the still smoldering pile of Nazi scum as the smoke spreads through her lungs. She knows the dangers of smoking but it was the only consistency in her life. If she was to die of smoking then she had chosen the way to go, not my some unexpected death. Too soon she feels hands against her suit and body before she hits the back of her gloved hand against Alucard's and turns to glare at him. It could be seen that she was like an animal guarding its' food and nothing was going to take her cigar away. She turns her back to him and takes a few steps away from him in the sand as she continues to smoke.* Do not rush me.

*he apologizes, and crosses his arms in front of him. After a minute or so, he notices that the breeze has become slightly chilled. Glancing back at his master, he notices her free arm is wrapped around her smaller frame, her platinum hair stirring as the wind picks up. Silently, he removes his over coat, and drapes it over her shoulders*

*The cold sea breeze brushes against her skin, it was getting later after all and soon it would be night. She watches as a blue gray smoke snake rises above her head and is soon swept away by the breeze. Her long hair whips against her body and skin as the wind picks up and she wraps her arm around her waist as a chill begins to set in. The wind downs out the sound behind her as Alucard removes his own garments and it comes as a slight shock to feel the heavy material rest on her shoulders. She tenses lightly and her eyes dart to the coat before she relaxes slightly and the coat drives away some of the chill. The cigar comes to its' last dying embers before she sighs and drops the still lightly smoking cigar to the sand and scuffs the toe of her black shoe over it to smother it with sand.*

*as she turns, Alucard opens his arms, as if to say 'ready now?'*

*She looks upon him with a cold expression before it softens very slightly and she nods once.*

* obediently, he steps forward and picks her up once again, and waits for her to adjust his coat around and over her, before he starts to move across the sand*

*As he sweeps the slender woman into his arms she pulls the coat close around her and holds it together with her gloved hands. She keeps it close to her and leans against Alucard's chest to shield herself from the wind that slowly begins to grow in strength. Her long hair flows around her and she grumbles in annoyance as it crosses over her face.*

*he suddenly remembers that he lost his hat. He stops momentarily, before turning, and heading in the opposite direction, despite protest from his master. He cannot leave without his hat D:*

*She glances up at him as he stops to turn in the opposite direction. What was he doing? She barks her protests and squirms in his grasp as he continues to walk in the direction that they had come from across the darkening beach. Her eyes are drawn to the burning wreckage about them as it lights the sky and illuminates all about it.*

*his red eyes flick back and forth over the ocean and the beach - it couldn't have gone far! Integra soon gives up her protest, and snuggles (am hesitant to use the word snuggles and grown up Integra in the same area code) down into her impro blanket. Eventually, Alucard spots his beloved hat..Floating…out to sea…the top of it a mess of sand and burning embers...he wasn't prepared for this..*

*Her protests soon turn to small grumbles and then she falls silent as she turns her head lightly into Alucards chest and hitches the jacket tighter around her form before snuggling into it just like a child once egain. She closes her blue eyes as she lets the Vampire do what he wants, though soon she senses a change in him, something was wrong. She frowns once again before lifting her eyes to him in a quizical manner.*

It wasn't supposed to happen like this way. Trying to remain composed in front of his master, he tries to find anywhere else to look, but finds himself drawn to the pathetic, dying remains of his head companion. A small lump gathers in his throat as he sees it bob a few times, before going under slowly...a silence comes upon the air..*

*A look of confusion soon graces her features before she turns in his arms to follow his gaze and she just about sees it, the small bobbing hat in the sea. Ah- so that's what's wrong. She sighs and shakes her head before looking at Alucard once again, it was only a hat and he would get over it. But seeing the expression on his face it pulled at her heart strings. "Put me down.." she mutters quietly and begins to extract herself from his arms as she looks at where the hat just disappeared into the sea from.*

*Alucard has no idea what to do now, but he cannot let himself look so weak in front of Integra. Trying to hide the sudden surge of emotion inside of him, he clears his throat and averts his eyes from the ocean* it's nothing, master. we should get you home

Put me down now! *She snaps at the Vampire and almost topples out of his arms as she struggles to break free from him. She glares at the sea as once again she sees the hat lightly bob to the surface of the body of water and her urgency only seems to increase.*

*he puts her down lightly as instructed, and lifts his hands to the back of his head his fingers interlocking. He would get over it, but, much like his masters cigars, his hat was almost like his trade mark. it was his token. and now, it was burnt and soaked and would most likely make his glossy, raven hair smell like fish and dead seagulls. It was beyond all wear ability*

*sighing heavily, he shakes his head and brings his arms back down to his sides, as he begins to walk away*

*Integra is soon placed down on her feet once again before she takes the coat from her shoulders and throws it to the Vampire that's slowly walking away from the sea. Swiftly Integra removes her suit jacket and throws it onto the sand at her feet, she went to remove her glasses but swore inwardly as she knew she was going to have to use them for the task that she was about to do. Hopping on one leg she pulls her shoes from her feet before decisively walking straight towards the sea with her eyes fixed on her target. She knew how important the hat was to her Vampire. With quickened steps she launches herself into the soft sea waves and is hit by the freezing water. She shudders at the cold but trudges towards the just visible hat.*

*Alucard Stops when he hears her curses under her breath, and turns to see what's wrong. His eyes widen in disbelief. His proud master, Sir Hellsing, is braving the freezing evening waters to get his hat..? He blinks for a moment, before his mischievous side re appears. Leaving his jacket, over coat and boots behind, he unties his neck tie and runs sneakily up

Behind her, rugby tackling her into the waters*

*holding onto her, he laughs as they resurface. So worth it*

*Integra shivers as the waters sweep around her body and freeze her skin. She continues to wade through the water though as it soon moves to lap at the top of her trousers and her white shirt. She grits her teeth as she moves towards the bobbing hat before her in the waves, this was the least she could do for him. Though suddenly she feels her body being entirely submerged into the water as something hits into her back. Panic overtakes her before her and the other 'body' moves to the surface and she hears Alucard's all too familiar laugh. "A-ALUCARD!" She screeches as she pulls wet strands of her hair away from her face and glasses and gasps in the night air.*

*continuing to laugh, the vampire tries to avoid her badly aimed attacks at his face. Her expression is pure thunder as she demands to know WHAT THE BLOODYB HELL HE THINKS HE'S DOING?! He merely shrugs and says 'I thought I saw a shark..I was only thinking of you, master'

*her anger only grows at his reasoning and she pulls herself away from him and stumbles in the water, trying to wipe away water from her glasses.* ..A SHARK!? THIS IS BLOODY ENGLAND! THERE ARE NO SHARKS IN ENGLAND! *She roars ferociously and tries to throw an angered punch in his direction but completely misjudges the shot and ends up toppling into the cold water once again.*

*Alucard just sits happily as he watches her stumble around, the freezing air on his wet shirt rather refreshing. Finally, he allows her to land a hit on his left cheek, before sticking his tongue out and diving under the waves, resurfacing a moment later. As he swims towards his hats final resting place, Integra stands, cold and annoyed. She curses to herself, whilst realizing that the water

is actually a degree warmer than the outside air. So she sits, stubbornly ignoring the waves repetitive motion*

*Integra growls in annoyance as she curses under her breath, not in a very long time had she ever been so infuriated. She glares as the Vampire dives into the waves before turning her attention to a rather pained right fist. She clenches and unclenches her fingers before the cold air batters against her and she sits down upon the sandy sea bottom so she sits cross legged with most of her body being splashed by the cold waves. Her annoyed gaze turns to Alucard once again as he reaches his hat.*

*Alucard grabs his hat in victory, and examines the damage. Not as bad as he first thought, though a little burnt, it should be fine. After a while, he turns himself to see whether Integra has simply abandoned him. Although she hasn't, he know's he'll have hell to pay. Unless he can get her to have fun =D He beckons her to come and join him, but she merely yell at him where to shove it*

*it's at this point that Alucard realises that she probably doesn't want to stand up becuase her white shirt has become rather transparent

*Integra continues to mutter under her breath as she fumes in anger. She feels a small twinge of pleasure as Alucard takes up his hat once again and seems to like what he finds. She quickly squashes down her small spark of glee before it can become anything else though and she narrows her eyes in frustration. Both arms soon move to cover over her chest as she knows that the white material will have become completely see-through. As Alucard calls over to her she makes a quick and angry answer completely highlighting the fact that she was not going to go anywhere near him.*

*choosing to ignore his masters immediate wishes. Alucard begins the swim back to shore. Finally back in front of Integra, he reaches out and grabs her hand. Before she can shout at him or slap his hand away, he pulls her closer to him, and pulls her deeper into the water, keeping her in his arms so that she doesn't go under. Thinking about it, he has no idea whether she can swim or not*

*Her glare never leaves him as he swims back towards her in the dark yet clear waters. The waves pull at her body and send her hair out around her and gives her the image of being a mermaid. She has no idea of what he's going to do as he soon makes it before her but she shuffles away slightly anyway. As his hand grabs at hers though she isn't able to pull away before he clasps her slender body to him and swims backwards into the deeper water. "S-Stop!" She cries repeatedly as they are pulled into the deeper and darker water. She squirms against his grasp and tries to free herself from him but she can't help but feel a sense of security in his arms.*

(would kill to be her right now =D)

( So would I..*Drools.*)

*a very very faint and almost invisible blush runs across the vampires pale face as he realizes rather conveniently that her shirt has in fact gone see through. He looks down at her, her wet, platinum hair fallen around her slender shoulders, her hands half heartedly clasping his (also beautifully see through) shirt for support*

*Integra glances up at Alucard just as he looks down at her, a deep blush forms over her wet cheeks as she realizes what he will be able to see. She can feel the wet shirt clinging to her and she lightly nuzzles her head against his chest as she holds onto his shirt. She closes her blue eyes and presses her glasses against his own wet clothes as her anger is swallowed with embarrasment.*

*Sensing her embarrassment, the vampire leans his chin on the top of her head, blocking any 'view' he may have had. And so they float together for a few minutes*

*Integra flinches very lightly as his chin connect with the top of her hair but she is appreciative of the move. She sighs in relief as she tightens her hold on his clothes and keeps her blue eyes closed. The waves wash at the both of them as they bob and float in the cold waves.*

*Eventually, Alucard, holding onto his master tightly ad protectively, uses his free arm to awkwardly direct them both back to shore. He knows that, as much fun as it would have been, Sir Hellsing with Pneumonia could be compared with 'resident evil; apocalypse now'*

*She continues to grasp a hold of him as he begins to swim with her back to the shore. She could feel the cold settling in as a small tremor runs through her body. She hadn't been prepared to be in the water for such a long time. Slowly she releases a cold and slightly stiff arm from his form before she uses it to try to help let them both swim back to the shore.*

*after what seems like an eternity, they touch ground, and finally pull themselves onto the shore. Alucard immediately helps his master to her feet, and grabs his black jacket, allowing her to slip it on, before buttoning it up for her. He then retrieves his over coat, and wraps it around her shivering frame*

*Integra feels the wash of relief as she makes in onto solid ground once again. She lets the Vampire guide her to her feet as after all he was the reason why she was in this predicament. She lets a small blush form over her cheeks though as he buttons the jacket up for her and she is once again reminded of her transparent shirt. She shivers violently as a wind begins to pick up and it chills her already cold body. As he wraps the coat around her form she looks up at him with a mix of emotions on her face before she pulls her eyes away once again.* Pick up my things..And then let's go.

* The Vampire king smiles as he obediently gathers up his masters belongings. However, his fun isn't yet done for the evening. Catching up to the blonde, he turns her round to face him. Before she can enquire, he leans down and kisses her gently. After a moment, he pulls away, grins, and begins to run from the stunned young woman*

*Integra frowns softly as her slender form shivers involentarily and she looks past the small sand dunes and past the smouldering mess that Alucard had made. She takes a step forward before Alucard takes her in his arms and turns her smaller body towards him. As his Vampire lips press against her virgin ones her eyes open wide behind her circular glasses and she stays stunned on the spot before he pulls away. As he runs from her a deep blush springs across her cheeks as the kiss finially hits her. She turns around once again to stare at the fleeing Vampire before screaming his name behind a blush as she voices her embarassment.*

And so, the credits roll in s the picture fades out. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as we did 8D *Chibi Esther and Sophie bow*


End file.
